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Topic:   Dating
Date: January 30, 2010
needhelp!!! asks:  
ok continuing to your advice, we go to different schools so i only see him like three times a week. and also he always talks about other girls around me. i mean it doesnt bug me at all but it just makes it seem that im not the only girl he is looking for. other than writing a note or telling him how i feel, how could i show that i like him if we r with a group of friends or something?

wilddawg says:  
Thanks for the clarification.

When he talks about a girl, change the subject to you. If he talks about MaRy, say "What about (your name), I hear you like me too."

Ways to flirt include kissing his face, hugging him, holding hands. For more flirting, check out the Recommended section in http://teenresources.student.com/wiki/Dating_and_Relationships

Wish ya the best.


Topic:   Dating
Date: January 28, 2010
): asks:  
Kay so theres this guy that I really really like and yeah im just in Jr high but seriously ive never felt this way about ANYONE. Only one things wrong, hes got a girlfriend. At first i didnt know her and i tried to lure him out of his relationship with her, but then she trancfered into my choir and gym class, and i found, shes actually alot like me. As long as i thoguth she was a superficial bitch, i was okay with breaking them up. But now im not so sure... So how can i get him or, get OVER him?

wilddawg says:  
Don't pursue him 1 bit because IF you're successful, how would you feel if someone pried you away from your guy? You'd be angry, upset, and want revenge?

Check out http://www.preferredconsumer.com/teen/articles/breaking_up.html ( i know you never dated but it helps with moving on) & http://www.docstoc.com/docs/19422189/The-Teen-Survival-Guide-to-Dating-and-Relating-Real-World-Advice-on-Guys-Girls-Growing-Up-and-Getting-Along

hopefully, these can help you


Topic:   Dating
Date: January 27, 2010
needhelp!!! asks:  
Okay so im a girl and i like this guy. im a junior and so is he. the thing is we r both kinda shy. i found out through a reliable friend of his that he likes me and i can kinda tell. im pretty sure that same friend told him that i like him. the only thing is whenever we hang its akward cuz i know he likes me and vice versa but we have never verbally told eachother our feelings. again we r both kinda shy! i need help on how to a) be flirtatious without being slutty or out of my normal personality and b) get us to have normal conversations that arent akwards and c) get him to ask me out!!!!

wilddawg says:  
Sorry for the short answer here:

Write him a note to tell him how you feel
Ask him out
Relax and once it's known you like him, I'm sure your shyness will fade away



Topic:   General
Date: January 26, 2010
xXCuriousXx asks:  
is it possible love someone and yet be scared to be loved in return? Can you be in love with someone and yet the one thing you wouldnt do is let them go? (just curious)(:

wilddawg says:  
Thanks for the question because it's a common concern that people that typically have encountered abuse or in unstable relationships deal with.

If you were physically, sexually, or emotionally abused and you've totally not recovered or coped with it, it's quite possible that you doubt that you can be loved. When you're in that situation, it's best to find a therapist or minister to talk to so you can cope better and hopefully find a healthy relationship than a vulnerable or unhealthy relationship. Sadly, it's likely going to require extensive and not overnight help.

Your second question is quite true too. By no means am I saying that victims of abuse or neglect are the only ones who can't let go. However, I suspect that's still going to be a trait they may carry with them. BUT, I will state that this can happen to anyone simply because we interpret things differently or we're too scared or pressured to not be in a relationship.


Topic:   Dating
Date: January 25, 2010
Katy90 asks:  
I have a crush on a friend. We hang out a lot, but I don't think he feels the same way about me. How do I get over him, without ending the friendship?

logomaniac says:  
Having a crush on someone who is also a friend doesn't automatically mean that your friendship with that person is over. Plenty of people are able to date their friends while remaining friends. But if that is what you would prefer then really all you can do is try to move on naturally. Still hang out with him of course, but also make sure you have time to hang out with other friends and time to date other people.

There isn't really a fool-proof way to get over a crush, you just have to move on a little bit at a time and eventually it becomes likely that you'll start having a new crush.


Topic:   General
Date: January 23, 2010
billabong. asks:  
Okay, so a week ago I went to Phoenix to visit a friend I hadn't seen in a while. While I was there I met a guy with my 2 besties. We had already seen him earlier that day, and I complimented him on his eyes. Then, we left. Later, my friends were inside anither store and I was outside. He was going to a store next to the store my friends were in, and he saw me, then introduced himself, and hugged me. He was super nice. We all hung out, and he gave me his number. We talked/flirted daily. Then, in the middle of out flirty texts, he sends me a pic of him shirtless. It's been 4 days since he sent it, and ever since, he won't answer my texts, what do I do?

logomaniac says:  
He might be regrettig sending the pic, or maybe there is some completely unrelated reason. Don't repeatedly text him, he'll respond when he wants to and texting him over and over again seems quite desperate. Give it a day or two and then text him saying you wanted to see how he was. He could simply be busy, but for all you know he lost his phone or something. Don't worry overmuch about it though.


Topic:   Dating
Date: January 22, 2010
so confused??? asks:  
Well lets c where to start off. im essaged u last time about the college and staying back for him well this is about him again...okay im a senior right now...My freshmen year i met this guy and the first time i saw and talkd to him we clicked.and we liked each other right away.. later on we started "talking" and we were getting to know eachother and then it was my sophmore yr..when we got to school everythin changed..we stopped..then end of soph yr we started talking again and to the point ahere we almost going out..then we juss happened to stop! then he went out with my bestfriend and they messed up everythin..so we stopped talkin for a while..then a couple months ago..we saw eachother at a party and he said if i was still mad at him and i said no and we cleared up everything. so from then on we talked and started to flirt and talk again.. he started to invite me places..then to his family house.then i told him that i wanted to be with him and i have liked him for about 3 years so much now and that i wanted to be with him and basically everythin...then he said ok we will just take it slow and take our time.. i was so happy ..well about..1 week later i find out he gets a girlfriend and i broke down and was hurt. and then after we talked and i told him " that im tired of gettin hurt from him and that i really wanna b in his life and be with him i waited so long for him. and that if this is going to keep being like this im done out of his liek..ect"//he said ok im sorry that we were distance and he wanted to date me but we didnt talk much..long story short.we are talking now AGAIN!!and yesterday i told him " look i need to know whats going on. i still wanna be with you but idk what i ahave to too i wanna be by ur side and everythin..and he said YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR SELF THAT U WANT TOO AND THAT I HAVE LET TO MANY PPL HAVE EASY CHANCES..i told him that i have been waiting around for 3yrs and showing him i do. and idk how more to prove myself..???? what do i do with this guy??? i cant get away from him i love im i know i do. but he is so hard headed and idk how to show him more..??i try so hardd he takes all my energy and i tell my self no guy is worth this but i feel like he is idk why ?? please help//oh oh and for v day_ i got him the m&m"s personalized and 2 shirts idkk its something ???

logomaniac says:  
Relationships are not meant to be something where you have to prove yourself to your partner before you can move forward. You are either together, or your not. He needs to make a decision and so do you. If you stick around and don't stick up for yourself I have a feeling you'll be waiting another three years until you have finally 'proven yourself to him.' Do yourself a favor and sit down with him to talk. Let him know that you care for him and you've made that obvious. If he has a problem with trust and that's why he feels he can't move forward with you, let him know that you respect that but it's something he really needs to figure out on his own. It seems like he has a lot of relationship issues that he needs to work out and it's not your job to do so for him. I suggest you let him know where you stand as far as liking him and then let him also know that you're going to give him his space for him to work out whatever issues with dating that he has.

You have to realize that he's really just dragging you along with all this at this point because you've made it so obvious that you aren't going to stand up for yourself. But you really do need to do so, and soon. It won't be easy because you do like him so much, but the games he's playing with you aren't worth it.


Topic:   Religion
Date: January 21, 2010
LLgood asks:  
How do I tell my mom that I'm agnostic? She's usually a very accepting person, but she can get a little defensive about religion. She was raised Catholic, so it's the religion that she believes is right for her. I just don't know how to bring it up. Should I do it casually?

wilddawg says:  
You're an adult so unless you're living with her and she's set strict for you to be a Catholic, being straight forward is likely the way to do it.

You state she was raised Catholic (not you) and I gather that this was in the past. If she's no longer Catholic or religous, there's a chance you feel the same way and she's yet to tell you.

Simply, casually tell her how you feel as an agnostic person. Maybe, you're totally honest or you go to her as if you're having a problem with it. As long as you can handle some objection, it likely will work out.


Wish you the best on this discussion.


Topic:   Dating
Date: January 14, 2010
debbszs asks:  
If your truly in love with someone but you don't want to be what do you do

logomaniac says:  
I would say it would depend on why you didn't want to be. If it isn't a good relationship to be in then really the only thing you can do is break it off and try your best to move on. There is no way to actually stop loving or caring about someone randomly. It doesn't work like that.


Topic:   Self
Date: January 12, 2010
I'm depressed asks:  
I feel I have to tell you my life story for you to try and understand me. I'm a guy whos 17 and a only child. I'm gay and to be honest very lucky with the life I've had. I came out to my parents two years ago and they are totaly accepting of my sexuality. My parents are wealthy, I know I have a trusted fund. Though my parents live together, they have had no relationship and have sleept in serpate bedrooms for the last nine years. My mum said they stayed together for me but to be honest I feel this has only done me more harm. We never do anything as a family together cause my parents don't like spending time with each other. My mum is nearly away from home two weeks a month, and stays in our summer house. I'm popular at school and no one has a problem with me being gay. I go out a lot to clubs and bars with group of people from my year and my close friends. We also do have parties and stuff. The point I'm trying to make is that I know I'm so lucky and that I have it all yet I think I suffer from depression. My grades in school are just going down hill. Three years ago I used to get As and Bs. Now I just pass in most subjects. I live in Ireland and in a years time I have to take an exam which basicaly decides what college and course I'm albe to go to. I know that my furture is decided on how well I do in this exam. But do you think I get start to feel motivated in school? No chance. Even forgeting school, I just feel unhappy so much of the time! I decided, christmas just gone by that I would not go to the normal parties and diffrent events that I normaly go to. I held my own because its a tradition but that was a week before christmas, school eneded at the same time. I then decided to remove myself from everyone. I was hoping to figure out why I'm unhappy and try to get myself focused on my future. This hasn't worked though. My school report arrived I seen it on paper how bad I was doing at school but still didn't get the motivation to do better. My parents said nothing they have a hands off aproch to parenting which having being brought up that why I know is not good. I can do what ever I want, go out to club spend what I like and they don't care, they don't even care I drink and go to parties and maybe don't go to school the next day and haven't even arried home from the night before. At the one time I know they love me as I seen that when I told them I was gay. This probly makes no sense, but all I know is that I'm unhappy and I can't understand why and if I don't sort this out, this depression could rung my chances of gettings into a good college. P.S. I have dyslexia sorry for the spelling mistakes.

logomaniac says:  
First off, it is really great that you do realize how lucky you are but being depressed doesn't mean that you are in any way ungrateful for your parents or anything you have in your life. And it isn't anything you should feel bad about.

I'd advice that you talk to your parents. I know you said that they have a hands off approach to parenting but this is something they should know so that they can help you deal with it. Sit down with them and share exactly what you did in this question so that they know the depression you're dealing with is something you need help with. The next step would be finding someone to talk to and this is definitely something they can help you do. That way you can figure out exactly what kind of depression you're feeling and how best to treat it or cope with it.